I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Son: Daddy im scared what if the
plane goes down.
Dad: Don’t worry son your mum is on board
and she never goes down.
I mean just play with your iPad.
Police Station toilet stolen.... Cops have nothing to go on.
Husband admiring his body in the mirror
says to wife, "Look at that,
14 stones of pure dynamite!
"Yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse ..."
I didn't say it was your fault,
I said I was blaming you.
What is a light year?
The same as a regular
year but with less calories.
I didn't make you quite as intelligent as the woman so here's a little something that will do your thinking for you...
It's easier to remember your age
if you don't change it every year.
The road to success
is always under construction....
Some people feel the rain.
Others just get wet.