There's warnings of a new disease

found in soft butter.

Apparently it spreads very easily.

Did you hear about the X-ray specialist

who married one of his patients?

Everybody wondered what he saw in her.

Q - Do you know the difference in sugar and Sweet-n-Low?
A - Sugar is when you kiss her on the lips!

Q - What do you call a mushroom with a 10 inch stem?
A -  A fungi to have around.

Why did Noah build the ark?
Because news of the flood was leaked.

Trolls are always goblin their food too quickly.
Fairy-nuff, but someone should tell them it's bad for their elf.

The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve

your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.

A dentist was caught having sex with a young girl.

Next day headline, "Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".

 Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

 I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself

this is the last thing I need.

 A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where is the bar tender?"

 I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.

She seemed surprised.

 eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.