What Do You Call A Pig That Does Karate--- Pork Chop 😊
Did you hear of the story about the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
My psychologist told me not to keep things bottled up
so I went home and drank all my wine.
I took a beer bottle to the recycling center,
but they wouldn't take it.
"This is the pint of no return."
More Puns 😁
Just handed in my resignation to quit my job as a psychic.
I just don’t see a future in it.
Whenever I go near a bank, I get withdrawal symptoms.
Plastic surgery: Cutting up all your credit cards.
Why did the horse request to move stables?
He couldn't stand the neigh-bours.
My landlord said he needed to come
talk to me about how high
my heating bill is.
I told him, “My door is always open”.
A good carpenter will do his work and
then varnish without a trace.
"I'm tired of smiling all the time,"
😊 Need An Ark, I Noah Guy
I tried to get a job as a beer taster once,
but in the end, I bottled it.
There's warnings of a new disease
found in soft butter. Apparently it spread very easily.
Did you hear about the X-ray specialist who married one of his patients?
Everybody wondered what he saw in her.
Q - Do you know the difference in sugar and Sweet-n-Low?
A - Sugar is when you kiss her on the lips!
Q - What do you call a mushroom with a 10 inch stem?
A - A fungi to have around.
Vegetarian, Big Mis Steak
Why did Noah build the ark?
Because news of the flood was leaked.
Trolls are always goblin their
food too quickly.
Fairy-nuff, but someone should tell them
it's bad for their elf.
The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve
your Fellow Man' was written
by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.
A dentist was caught having sex with
a young girl.Next day headline,
"Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".
The feeling that you've heard
this bull before.
I saw an ad for burial plots,
and thought to myself
this is the last thing I need.
A termite walks into a bar and says,
"Where is the bar tender?"
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.She seemed surprised.
eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down.