Urgent Warning For Tomorrow!
Aliens are coming to earth tomorrow. Their mission is to abduct all sexy, good looking 'old' people.
I'm just sharing to say goodbye, I've got to go pack!
Needed To Fart In The Cinema
Farted During An
I'm so sick of this stereotype
suggesting that all WOMEN
wear SUPERHERO capes
when they go to the TOILET.
Back in my day a selfie is what you did when the wife wouldn't put out
Ladies if you think your man is cheating... Take him to that bitches front door & see if his wifi connects!
I spent half an hour trying to talk to them, wanting to learn about their culture until the bartender cut me off and told me they were patio umbrellas.
I gave up jogging because my thighs kept rubbing together & setting my pantyhose
Stop singing the song, rock a bye baby to put me to sleep.
I mean, a song about putting a baby in a cradle in a tree and then have it come crashing down, doesn't exactly make me want to close my eyes around you
What if the real Zombie Apocalypse just consists of masses of people staring at their cell phones...