How do you make a car go backwards without touching it...
Q. Why do black widow spiders kill
their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
I got pulled over by a traffic cop. He walked up to my window and said, “Papers.”
I said, “Scissors, I win…” and I drove off.
He must be desperate for a re-match because he’s been chasing me for ages.
Q: Whats big, red, and looks like a bucket?
A: A big, red bucket.
Q. What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a dentist?
A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.
Q:Why do people
A:Because they knead the dough!
Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?
A. No ball room
More Short Jokes
A Few More
Why is it a bad idea to insult an octopus?
Because it is well armed.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone?
That’s common sense leaving your body.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
What is the difference between your first honeymoon and your second? The first: Niagara; the second: Viagra.
At a nudist wedding, you don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is.
"Patience" is a naked woman lying down with her legs apart under a banana tree
Q. What do you call an alligator who wears a vest? An investigator.
The other day my girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
So we went out and had some drinks. He’s a cool guy, wants to become a web developer.
Just named my dog ‘Tenmiles’ so now I can say I walk ten miles every day.
What has four legs and says boo?
A cow with a cold.